Healed?

My Struggle with the Word "Healed"

Okay, I might be on an island with this one but hear me out.

I think I have an issue with the word "healed" when it comes to trauma work. Every time I see or hear it, something in me cringes. Here's why: it implies there's something fundamentally wrong with you that needs to be fixed. And honestly? I'm struggling to get on board with that idea.

Here's how I see it, using the word "healed" feels like we're discrediting ourselves and each other. Think about what you actually did when you experienced trauma. You survived. You made it through experiences that could have destroyed you. How? Because you were wise enough, intuitive enough, and strong enough to figure out how to keep going.

Those behaviors you developed, often when you were just a kid, weren't mistakes or flaws. They were brilliant survival strategies. Your brain did exactly what it was designed to do, keep you safe. You embraced whatever patterns and responses you needed because they worked. They got you through.

A Different Way Forward

Instead of focusing on "healing," what if we decided to find gratitude and compassion for ourselves? And I mean real gratitude, the kind that recognizes you wouldn't be here if you weren't strong, intuitive, and savvy enough to figure out how to show up in situations where you felt unsafe.

You figured things out. You kept going when it would have been easier to give up. You showed up day after day, even when things felt impossible. I don't think you need to be "healed" from any of that. I think you need to honor it. Thank yourself for being so incredibly wise.

Once we can truly appreciate our own strength and wisdom, then we can start letting go of the patterns and beliefs that no longer serve us. Not because they were wrong, but because we've outgrown them. We can say to those old protective parts of ourselves, "Thank you for keeping me safe. I know where to find you if I need you again, but for right now, I've got this."

It's about evolution, not fixing what's perceived as “broken.”

My Own Path

Let me be clear, I haven't mastered any of this. This work is hard, and it's ongoing. Just when I think I've made real progress, a new pattern or belief shows up that I didn't even know was there. I wonder if it ever ends.

But what I will own, with so much gratitude, is a level of self-love that I never knew was possible. When I say it's amazing, that's only because I don't have a word that accurately describes how wonderful it actually is. That shift from seeing myself as someone who needs healing to someone who deserves gratitude for their strength. That's changed everything.

Maybe none of us need to be “healed” but instead, we just need to be seen and honored, for the survivors we've always been.