Unbeknownst to me, my coaching journey started over a decade ago when I was getting my Master’s in Conflict Resolution. I took a class that, in a nutshell, challenged me to look at how my words and actions impact relationships – both personally and interpersonally.

I learned the foundations of mediation and how to facilitate disagreements (I am purposefully using the term disagreements instead of conflict - that’s a whole other story) but more importantly, I was given an opportunity to get curious about the WHY’s - why did I feel victimized, why was I sabotaging my dreams, why did I get triggered by x, y, and z, etc. I realized how tightly I was holding onto stories and beliefs from my past. How my reactions, to almost any disagreement, were guided not by what was happening in the moment but by memories from similar situations that I hadn’t moved past or resentment and hurt that I wasn’t willing to let go of. Essentially, how I was engaging in disagreements and my decision to stay rooted in my past is what was holding me back from personal growth and the ability to deepen my relationship with myself and others.

Over time, as I became comfortable with this style of “self-assessment” the more stable and confident I felt. I learned how to reconcile disagreements based on my core values instead of mine and others’ beliefs about me. I started showing up for myself without apology, with fewer expectations of others, and with less attachment to outcomes. Not only did I find myself becoming more positive about life in general, the level of respect I was able to find for myself and what I was receiving from others changed drastically.

After over a decade in leadership at tech startups, I consider it a privilege to support my clients as they reassess their relationship with “relationships,” both personally and interpersonally.